i have a deep voice
- r: ang baba ng boses mo.
- me: naku, masyado bang halatang post-op? kulang pa sa estrogen shots.
with the sales dude at payless
- him: wow, you have abnormally huge feet for a girl.
- me: (looks at his feet.) yup. my penis is bigger than yours.
Things that are difficult / very difficult / downright impossible to say when drunk
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. CinnamonTHINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. TransubstantiateTHINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.
reblogged from shotgunbaby
a conversation with my Tunisian colleague
- me: Aren't you hungry? We both haven't eaten the whole day!
- B: You keep forgetting, I was born and raised in Africa. I don't get hungry.
- LOL.
Happy Thanksgiving! :) I am most thankful for the gift of resilience and fortitude.
via inothernews: Google wishes us a happy (Peanuts) Thanksgiving.
reblogged from inothernews
reblogged from failurebydsgn
reblogged from dearoldlove
reblogged from dearoldlove
